


Looking Up

by kuonji



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, POV Original Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-15
Updated: 2012-09-15
Packaged: 2017-11-14 04:55:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuonji/pseuds/kuonji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Her home was cozy and safe and free of nuisances.</em>  Almost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking Up

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by my fake story header [HERE](http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/37684.html). :)
> 
> This story was nominated for two [Ollie Awards](http://community.livejournal.com/sh911award_com) in 2011, categories "Giggles Award (Best humor story)" and "Best Short Story (under 1000 words)".
> 
> Alternative Links:  
> <http://starskyhutch911.livejournal.com/575635.html>

She awoke, as always, alone. The room was dimly illuminated with fading sunshine and smelled of that dusty, lazy scent of late afternoon. She uncurled herself from her bed and stretched her back, then her legs. Shaking off the wooziness of sleep, she made her way to the eating area. Finding nothing there, but expecting nothing anyway, she took a drink of water instead. Then she sat down where she was and started to groom herself meticulously. One could never be too clean, especially when she lived in such a small, enclosed space as she did.

Her room was no more than two body lengths by three. The walls were opaque, and on two sides were insurmountable cliffs. If she stood up as straight as she could, she could just see over the edge of the other two sides into the wide, frightening vista of Outside. Her home was cozy and safe and free of nuisances.

A sound snapped from Outside, and she instantly perked her ears. She relaxed slightly when she recognized it.

"How's my girl?" She sat up quickly, as tall as she could, and watched her companion approach and then lower down. He was partly bald and gangly and too loud, but at least he had a pleasing scent and a gentle, warm touch. She would have preferred another of her own kind, but he would do -- once she'd taught him some proper manners.

"Are you hungry?" The creature rose away. Stretching, she watched him walk out of sight beyond the cliffs. Then she heard the telltale _sh-thk_ and _sh-thmp_ that preceded food. She whistled loudly in excitement and hopped in place a few times until her companion returned. This was definitely behavior to encourage.

The aroma of the food was confirmed when it was placed in front of her: a piece of carrot and two leaves of some sort of new vegetable. She took the carrot from him directly, and she chewed contentedly as he groomed her back, reestablishing his scent on her. Later, she would return the favor and make sure her scent was equally strong on him.

"I think this is the first time I've seen spinach in your house."

She froze at the unwelcome intrusion. She didn't like the other one. He kept himself aggressively tall, and his voice was always rumbling and low -- dangerous. Plus, she could always smell his scent on her companion, despite the fact that her companion clearly wanted to be part of _her_ herd. She despised encroachers on her territory.

"I got it yesterday. The book said that guinea pigs like it."

"Maybe you should try it yourself. It's full of great vitamins and minerals."

"Is that supposed to make me _want_ to eat the stuff?"

The other one appeared over the walls, and she abandoned her food to rumble menacingly at him.

"Look at that. She's purring. I told you she'd like you."

Her companion reached down and lifted her away from the solid ground. She froze and peered around warily. The safety of her home fell away, replaced by a swirl of far away objects and confusing scents.

"Louise, meet Hutch, fellow leaf-chomper."

The other one reached one of his appendages toward her. An attack? She knew how to deal with that. She waited until he got closer, then nipped his soft, hairless skin -- hard.

"Yow! She bit me!"

"Whoa, hey! Louise!"

The world tilted and suddenly she was dropped back into her home. She scrambled toward the corner with the cliffs and hunkered down, angry at her treatment. She tasted the blood in her mouth and chittered in slight satisfaction.

"She's a menace."

"Aw, don't blame her. She was probably just scared. Or maybe she heard you talking about how they _eat_ guinea pigs in South America."

"Ha. Ha. I'm not laughing. You have a band-aid? It went pretty deep."

"Yeah, here."

"You sure she's safe to let near Dobey's kids? It'll be both our asses in a sling if something happens."

"She'll be okay. Promise." Her companion reached down and groomed her back. She started to relax again, although she kept her senses sharp for any further challenge from the other one. "I just scared her when I picked her up, that's all."

"You better be sure, buddy. Hey, I'll bet Huggy's friend will still take her for that petting zoo circus."

"What? No! I'm not makin' her climb towers and jump through flaming hoops."

"Can guinea pigs jump?"

"...I don't know. But she's gotta be happier in a warm family with two kids who love her. Won't you, Louise?" The grooming stopped, and she moved away back to her food, glad that normalcy had apparently been returned.

"Looks to me, all she needs is food, and she's happy. Sounds like someone I know... only she has better table manners."

"Don't you have a date to get ready for, wiseguy?"

"Oops, yeah. I'll catch you later."

There were shuffling and thumping sounds outside, and then she sensed that the other one had gone.

Her companion reappeared and lifted her up again, this time much more slowly than before. "It's just you and me now, girl. What do you say to a movie?"

She kept herself still as he carried her a ways and then settled down again in a new place. There were no walls around her, except for her companion's solid shape behind. There was a noise coming from in front of them, and a flickering shape. Nothing seemed overtly threatening, and her companion was relaxed and smelled quiet.

After a long moment, she sniffed the air and then nosed around her companion's body. He made no sign of alarm. Satisfied that they were safe, she decided to scent mark this new locale -- starting with her companion.

"Louise! Aw, no, I just washed these jeans!"

She squirmed, surprised, as she was again transported (much more roughly this time) through the air and then dropped back home. A series of patterings and thumps came from outside. She backed into her corner and hissed in irritated affront. Her companion was much more volatile than she had thought. This would never do at all.

She had to start looking for a new herd after all.

  
END.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:    
>      [Comes With The Territory](http://community.livejournal.com/starskyhutch911/185590.html) (Starsky & Hutch), by kuonji    
>      [Left Behind](http://community.livejournal.com/sga_flashfic/310257.html) (Stargate Atlantis), by kuonji  
>      [Dog Day](http://igbc.livejournal.com/27403.html) (Starsky & Hutch), by Nyssa  
>  


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